Dr. Geri-Lynn Utter, PsyD. - Taking care of your well-being during the festive season

The holiday season can be a time of joy, but it can also bring added pressures, such as entertaining, buying gifts, shopping for food and heating costs. And this year, there’s turbulence in the world that brings with it loss, anxiety, and grief. All of this can be difficult to manage even if you’re living your best life, but when you’re in recovery, it can feel much harder. 

In this blog, Dr. Geri-Lynn Utter, PsyD. (Clinical Psychologist and Medical Science Liaison for Orexo US, Inc.) shares her thoughts about how you can get through the holiday season without turning to drugs and alcohol.

It’s ok not to feel ok

When you’re in recovery and life stress gets turned up, your desire to use may get turned up too. But it’s more important than ever to stay on track because the holiday season will come and go. It can be tempting to miss appointments with your therapist or doctor, but making time for you and your recovery is really important. Thinking about what might be difficult for you during the holidays and identifying several, healthy coping strategies can help you get ahead of the stress of the season. For example, if routine is something that helps you to cope, like walking the dog every morning, or going for a run every Saturday, try to keep as much of it in place as you can to help you feel in control. This is even more important if you’re going away over the holidays. It’s useful to think before you go about what might help you to feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible while you’re away. 

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that while everyone around you seems to be enjoying themselves, you’re not feeling the same way. At times like this, it’s important to focus on what this time of year is all about, which is being together with people that matter to you. Imagine the future – you looking back on this year. You’ll remember the people you spent time with, and the fun you had together. The other things, like whether the turkey was dry and the stuffing was burned, or how much you spent on gifts, will be forgotten. Try not to sweat the small stuff, especially when things cost so much. If you’ve got money worries, keep the costs down by making a budget and writing out lists before you go shopping so you don’t spend more than you can afford. If you’re really worried about making ends meet this year, you can reach out to local organizations dedicated to assisting families with meals, clothes, and a few toys for the kids this holiday. Remember, it’s not about competing with other people. It’s about your health and keeping your recovery on track so that you can continue to heal and repair relationships with loved ones.

Do what you can to stay healthy

Spending time with other people is great for your mental health but to stay on top of your well-being you might want some time on your own. Heading outside is great for getting into nature or away from a noisy home environment. While the days are short, it’s even more important to go outside in the daylight hours to boost your mental well-being and get some exercise. Even a short walk around the block is better than being on the couch all day. Your body will thank you for it and it’ll help you sleep better too. 

The holiday season is a good time to reflect on how far you’ve come on your recovery journey this year. Allow yourself to feel proud of where you are now. Surround yourself with positive people who are there for you and want you to stay well and happy. If you’re sober, you’ll have a much better time, and the people around you will too because they won’t be worrying about how you’re doing. Being around special people, whether that’s family or friends, can keep you grounded. They can help you deal with day-to-day problems and give you another way of thinking about things that might be worrying you. If you don’t have loved ones around you, consider talking to your therapist about groups in the community or online you can tap into. Make a list of some of the services or contacts you might want so you’ve got them at hand. If you think you may feel lonely over the holidays, have a plan for ways you could spend the time, like volunteering at a local shelter, library, nursing home, community center or school. Giving back year-round is an activity that not only helps you, but others too. 

Be kind to yourself by setting boundaries around what’s ok for you. No matter what happens, you have a choice. For example, it’s ok to say no if people are going to the pub and you don’t want to be tempted by all the alcohol. You could also think about planning something to look forward to when the holiday season finishes, like watching a film that you wouldn’t normally get time for, doing something you really enjoy, or learning a new skill. Above all, try not to put yourself under pressure to do or say things that you think other people want or expect. Help people get to know the new you – someone who doesn’t use drugs or alcohol anymore. They’ll probably be grateful to you for helping them understand how they can support you. If you find there are people around you who are negative, judgemental, or unkind, put some space between you and them so they can’t make you feel sad or tempt you to use again.

Be intentional

Consider reflecting on the holiday moment you find the most challenging and why. Writing these thoughts in a journal can clarify your struggles and help you discover what brings you joy. Start by thinking about what your priorities are for getting through the holidays, like whether it’s to avoid situations that might trigger you to start using again, or to spend more time with your partner or kids. Setting small, achievable goals is a great way to focus on something that really matters to you and to live in the moment rather than getting distracted by all the busyness and noise that happens at this time of year. Even something as simple as taking a few deep breaths can be extremely helpful before going into a situation you know will be stressful. Setting intentions can help you feel stronger so if there are times when family arguments break out or the conversation turns to something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you’re able to deal with it in a positive way that takes the heat out of things. 

It’s normal to experience ups and downs at any time, but especially during the holidays. If you’re having a day when things are feeling harder, take care of yourself and trust that it’ll pass. While it might feel difficult, focus on being around the people who matter to you. Everyone does it differently, so go with what’s comfortable for you and have some fun. Feel proud of how far you’ve come this year and look forward to all the joy ahead in 2024.